Having An Off Day

I never intended this to become a daily blog, and on some days I may not update for days at a time. Today I wasn’t going to update because I didn’t want to show the more negative side of me, but then this blog wouldn’t be honest and I really want honesty.

Sometimes we have off days, where nothing has provoked us but the world seems dim. Yesterday I had a great talk with my boyfriend and yet I still felt bad waking up. Sometimes depression just takes your whole day and makes everything seem dismal and dark. My main concern has been my lack of close friends here, my mind has made this image that everyone here except me has best friends that always hang out. It’s the most isolating feeling, one that is hard to get out of right now.

To try and help, I went for a walk in the park and sat down just taking in the views. Walking by myself has the effect of getting my feelings out, even if it means returning to my room to have a cry in the bathroom (absolute peak of a day). But it worked, I feel less lonely than before. I still don’t feel great but I don’t expect that. Having depression means that you have those days where everything seems wrong, and having any lift in mood for me is a success.

In the end the main person who is going to make you feel better is yourself, you have to want to get better to be better, look after yourself and accept the feelings you have. Feeling sad is pure sh*t, but don’t beat yourself up. Know that your feelings are not forever and tell someone that you aren’t feeling too great. Having a good support network is key, especially any of those interested in the theatre path. For now I might play some music and read, maybe speak to a living person, whatever feels right for me.

Sorry if this was not helpful, but this is me at my most vulnerable without a façade and I’m no longer afraid to hide it from people.

Keep yourselves safe,

Gabby

Picture of Rose Bruford from the Park, looks so secretive from here.

Author:

My name is Gabby McLean and I am currently studying European Theatre Arts at the Rose Bruford School of Performance. Throughout my life I have struggled with anxiety and depression which is something many of us actors have, but in making this blog I want to entertain and serve to people regardless of your mental illness you can follow your dreams. I have also recently been diagnosed with High functioning autism which I have to get used to.

3 thoughts on “Having An Off Day

  1. Darling Gabby

    You are so eloquent with your words. I totally relate to how you feel. The way you deal with your down days are only human. You are not alone and talking about your true feelings is so selfless and reassuring for those who are feeling the sane but don’t talk about it. I’m feeling pretty flat right now but having read your blog, I’m feeling so in ore and inspired by your words. You are amazing. Truly amazing❤️.

    I was saying to my boyfriend that I need to return to Guided Meditation (the Honest Guys) as it totally changes my mindset. It helps me look at myself and life as special and believe in myself etc…there’s one on positive life affirmations which helps me a lot. Give it a try….you have nothing to lose.

    I hope you feel better at the close of this day darling. You are unique, highly intelligent, beautiful and very special. As you say, it’s ok to have down times. What’s important is acknowledging and accepting this. You are already a success without realising it.

    Big hugs, and lots of love. Take care darling

    ☀️🌻🎶🎶🎶🎶👣👣🎶🎶🎶🎶💐🍺xxx ps the feet are dancing❤️

    Sent from my iPad

    >

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  2. Best friends are like celebrity marriages ‘they never last’! Much better to be a lone star who has lots in interesting friends so you can spread the load-this is a voyage of discovery so don’t expect to be happy everyday-look at me!! Take care and speak soon xxx

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